its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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