I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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