Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
