what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
