You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
