her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
