ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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