wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm too high and old for this...
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
