my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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