talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
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