I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
