if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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