he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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