yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
