I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
