I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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