no, he came in my armpit
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
