Soap is not a condiment
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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