bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
