We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
