Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I FOUND THE LEGS
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
