i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
