We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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