wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize