I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
