I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You've changed since you got that strap on
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize