Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
