dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
