Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
