Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
