Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
