i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Are my feet made of real feet?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
