what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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