Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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