I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
