My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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