sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
