there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
