is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
