he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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