Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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