I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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