I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
