I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
