I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
