You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i think i have two assholes
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Sext me about skeletons
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
