It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
