grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
