so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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