An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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