Are we in a gay sports bar?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
