I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
