beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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