I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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