...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I didn't notice because vodka
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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