flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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