Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
