I only kidnapped one of them. chill
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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