I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize