I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize