Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
