Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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